Not Yet
by lookingforthestars
Summary: With Jasper's role in avenging her father fulfilled, Eleanor must decide if she will let him go. Set immediately after 2x10.


**This is my first (and possibly only) time writing for The Royals, but I just couldn't get this out of my head after the finale. This is a relatively small fandom, but I've read some genuinely incredible writing here. I can only aspire to be as good, and I don't think I could do Eleanor justice, because she's amazing…but please enjoy!**

She wanted to be strong.

Eleanor wanted to be the girl that she'd been yesterday, briefly, when she ordered Jasper to leave. But sitting across from him now, his stare burning through her and then switching hastily to the window when she reciprocated, she could remember the good things he'd done too. The moments he had surprised her, shown her the person he really was when he wasn't playing their game. The moment that he had pushed through the crowd, practically carrying her through a sea of shouting paparazzi, and she'd realized for the first time that she trusted him more than anyone except Liam and known, with unwavering certainty, that he wanted nothing but to protect her.

 _You have to trust somebody._

Those were Jasper's own words, right before she pressed the panic button and betrayed him. She'd scoffed at the sentiment then. It wasn't that she hadn't ached to trust someone—her dalliances with Beck and Mandy or whatever-her-name-was proved otherwise—but trust had never given her life any measurable benefit. Until the person who'd fed her the biggest lies became the one she relied on again and again, putting her life, and the lives of everyone she cared about, in his hands.

And if he could continue to be that person for her, it was likely that she could forgive him.

Eleanor had paid little attention to their route, and shook out of her reverie as the palace came into view. The driver slowed as he passed through the gates and came to a stop at a more secluded entrance, shielded in the most relative sense by the gardens. Jasper's instructions, most likely. They'd spent most of the drive in silence; he broke it only to inform her that Liam was safe. She didn't push. There was still a great deal for them both to process.

The princess slid across her seat and reached for the door, but she stilled when she noticed that Jasper wasn't moving, his eyes cast down to his hands twisted in his lap. "Well?" she said expectantly.

"I'm not coming in," he mumbled. Eleanor slumped back against the leather and stared at him, the silence that followed making her feel unbearably claustrophobic.

"Nonsense. Someone has to—." She jumped as a knock on the window startled her, and Jasper glanced over at the source of the noise.

"Hill will escort you back to your room. He'll take you to see Liam." The bodyguard cleared his throat and pushed open the door, motioning for Eleanor to climb out. His eyes flicked up to Hill, who was waiting patiently, hand extended politely outward. "Take care of her."

James offered a short nod and Jasper pulled back into the car. Eleanor chose to ignore Hill's presence. "Where are you going?" she demanded, but the crack in her voice didn't go unnoticed by Jasper, who finally met her gaze. His face betrayed no expression, but there was a storm brewing in his eyes.

"It's not important." Jasper shifted in his seat. "You need to go, princess. It won't be long before there's chaos out here. You and Liam should settle into the palace until things cool down."

They lapsed into silence again, and Eleanor shuddered at the thought that this would be their goodbye. She needed more time. There was too much more to say, and too much pressure in the moment as the hum of the engine filled her ears and she vaguely recognized Hill saying, "Your Highness?"

She shook her head. "No," she answered resolutely, grabbing Jasper's knee and feeling him tense in surprise. His blue eyes reached hers questioningly. "I told you to leave when this was all over, and it's not over until I'm safe. Do your job and escort me into the palace, or I'm not leaving this car."

Hill and Jasper shared a mutual sigh at the princess's stubbornness, but he conceded and climbed out of the vehicle, taking her arm as she followed. The driver pulled away and James trailed behind them while they ascended the stairs.

* * *

"Len!" Liam said breathlessly as Eleanor entered her bedroom. He bolted up from the couch and closed the distance between them in two steps. "I'm so glad you're okay," he muttered, his voice muffled by her hair as he grasped her tightly.

"Me too," Eleanor mumbled into his chest, holding the embrace for another few seconds before pulling back and smiling at her brother. "You had me worried there for a second."

"I know." He pushed a strand of hair behind her ear before his eyes traveled over her shoulder. She twisted around and saw the other man standing near the door, attempting a quiet exit. "Thank you, Jasper. For everything."

"It was the least I could do," the bodyguard answered hesitantly, glancing between the siblings. "I'll leave you to talk."

"Jasper," Eleanor called out, releasing Liam and gripping Jasper's arm, forcing him to look at her. She lowered her voice. "You deserve to be here. You were just as big a part of today as the rest of us."

He swallowed hard, and Eleanor had half a mind to regret her words. She'd spent so long thinking of him as a coldhearted snake, a blackmailer, a con man with no regard for anything but money, power, and control. But he sentenced Ted Pryce to death, and the burden of that decision weighed heavily on his features. He had only done it to save her. To save Liam.

"Okay," Jasper replied flatly, allowing the princess to lead him to the center of the room. She directed him to sit next to her on the couch, Liam settling into the chair across from them. Jasper took in a deep breath before asking, "Ted?"

"I'm not sure," the prince answered honestly, leaning forward in his seat and clasping his hands. None of them knew Ted's fate. None of them were ready to know. "He protected me from the crowd. Got me into a car. I didn't see what happened after that."

That was partially a lie. He'd seen enough. But Eleanor didn't need to know the details.

The princess dropped her head into her palms and dragged them over her face with a low sigh. "Did we do the right thing?" she asked quietly.

There was no answer. They'd done the right thing to survive; she knew as much. Whether they would be able to live with the consequences—well, that was another story entirely, one she might not discover the ending of for quite some time.

Liam broke the tension. "I'm sorry I left you alone to make that decision, Eleanor. It wasn't fair."

"I didn't." She glanced sideways at Jasper, who was watching her intensely, and then back to her brother, before repeating weakly, "I didn't."

The meaning of her statement quickly became clear, and Liam pressed his lips together, turning his attention to the bodyguard, who could barely look up from the floor. "You told me that I could trust you." The prince extended his hand, which Jasper accepted and shook firmly. "Thank you for staying true to your word."

 _True to his word._ Not what Jasper was known for, certainly; his word has largely been meaningless, a slick combination of empty promises meant to target the hopes and pressure points of his targets. It was only on meeting Eleanor and Liam that he had started to care about trust…about honesty…about being something more than he'd been so far. Something better.

Liam stood up from his place and kissed the top of Eleanor's head. "I have to take care of some things. Will you be okay here?"

"Yes," she answered without hesitation, tilting her chin up and offering him a weary smile. They both knew she would be; with Jasper and Hill there, the princess was perhaps the safest person in all of England. "Stay out of trouble, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed with a crooked grin before excusing himself from the room. Liam's absence made Eleanor suddenly, acutely aware of the space between her and Jasper, and how much she wished it wasn't there. She shifted her hand on the couch, fingers flexing toward him, debating how to extract the comfort she needed from him, when he abruptly shifted backward on the couch and turned to face her.

"I should go, too," he said simply, eyes trained on hers but restraining any hint of emotion. Eleanor groaned in exasperation.

"Jasper—."

"You're safe," he interrupted, running his hands over his legs as if he wasn't sure what else to do with them. "You're home, princess. Hill can take care of you now."

Eleanor opened her mouth, but came up empty. Of course Hill could take care of her. He was an excellent choice as her bodyguard, and quickly becoming something of a friend. But he couldn't be everything she needed.

She watched Jasper's chest rise and fall as he let out shallow breaths, and the ugly panic that had come over her in the car reared its head again. _I can't do this. I'm not ready._ "Not yet," she whispered, the words dropping from her lips before she could swallow them. His eyes snapped to hers, no doubt drawn by the desperation in her voice that she'd tried to hide. Jasper hesitated before he grabbed her arms and pulled her toward him, carefully so as not to hurt her but forcefully enough that her breath hitched.

"Then tell me to stay," Jasper challenged, the strength of his gaze causing her thoughts to jumble and her heart to rip through her chest. "Or let me leave. But please don't ask me for both."

She didn't struggle against his grip. "Too much has happened today, Jasper. I'm still..." _Broken? Desperate? Lost?_ All of the above, but she felt stronger with him, and that counted for something. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."

It was the closest she could get to what she genuinely wanted to tell him. She hoped that he would read between her words, but he just shook his head. "You can get through anything, princess. You've proven that."

"Damnit, Jasper," she snapped in frustration, but she stopped as his hands slid down her arms and landed loosely on her wrists, his eyes never breaking from hers.

"Say it," he breathed, but it wasn't a demand. There was too much uncertainty and sadness in his voice for him to be in control this time. She flipped his hands over and ran her palms along his forearms, barely able to distinguish her racing pulse from his. "Tell me what to do."

There were no cards left to play and nothing left to lose, and the words were all that stood between them. Her fingernails dug into his skin as she held on to him, wondering if she might be wrong about everything and he might laugh and walk away once she'd said it, satisfied in breaking down her last remaining walls and then crushing her. But one look at his expression told her that wasn't true.

"Stay," she whispered. "I need you to stay."

The final syllables were barely out when Jasper's arms grabbed at her waist and pressed her against him, their lips meeting for the first time in too long. There was no trace of fear, no doubt, no manipulation. She allowed herself to fall into him completely, offering zero resistance as his hands tangled in her hair and the feel of his body against hers set her on fire. She didn't fight him for dominance, for the upper hand that had always been so important to them. She just let him hold her.

"If you lie to me again, I will kill you," she mumbled breathlessly against his skin. It was a threat somewhat undermined by the fact that she was in his lap, but Jasper pulled away nonetheless and looked at her soberly.

"No more secrets," he promised in a low voice, pressing a soft kiss to her shoulder before resting his head against hers. "No more games, Eleanor."

"No more games," the princess echoed, crumbling into Jasper's arms as he kissed her again. She wanted to be strong. She didn't want to need him, didn't want to crave the love and protection he offered, didn't want to hope for a future where they could just be two people who were healthy, normal, and happy.

But it didn't change the fact that she did.


End file.
